WALK IN THE LIGHT WHILE YE HAVE LIGHT

Conversations between a Pagan and a Christian.

Story from the Time of the Ancient Christians

by Leo Tolstoy

Translated from the Original Russian and edited by Leo Wiener

Assittant Professor of Slavic Languages at Harvard University

1890

INTRODUCTION

Guests were one day assembled in a wealthy house, and a serious conversation on like was started. They spoke of present and of absent people, and they could not find a single man who was satisfied with his life. Not only was there not one man who could boast of happiness, but there was not even one man who thought that he was living as was becoming for a Christian. All confessed that they were living only a worldly life in cares for themselves and for their families, and that not one of them was thinking of his neighbour, and much less of God. Thus the guests spoke among themselves, and all agreed in accusing themselves of a godless, non-Chris-tian life.

“Why. then, do we live thus?” exclaimed a youth. ” Why do we do what we do not approve of ? Have we not the power to change our life ? We know ourselves that what ruins us is our luxury, our effeminacy, our wealth, and, chiefly, our pride, our separation from our brothers. To be noble and rich, we have to deprive ourselves of everything which gives the joy of life to a man. We crowd into cities, make ourselves effeminate, ruin our health, and, in spite of all our amusements, die from ennui and from self-pity, because our life is not such as it ought to be. Why should we live thus ? Why ruin our whole life, — all that good which is given us by God ? I do not want to live as heretofore! I will abandon all the teaching which I have entered upon, for it will lead me to nothing but the same agonizing life of which we all now complain. I will renounce my property and will go to the country and live with the poor; I will work with them, will learn to work with my hands; if my education is of any use to the poor, I will communicate it to them, but not through institutions and books, but by living directly with them in a brotherly relation. Yes, I have made up my mind!” he said, looking interrogatively at his father, who was also present.

” Your desire is good,” said the father, ” but frivolous and thoughtless. Everything presents itself to you as easy, because you do not know life. There are things enough that seem good to us! But the point is, that the execution of what is good is frequently difficult and complicated. It is hard to walk well on a beaten track, and harder still to lay out new paths. They are laid out only by men who have fully matured and who have completely grasped everything which is accessible to men. The new paths of life seem easy to you, because you do not yet understand life. All this is thoughtlessness and pride of youth. We old men are needed for the very purpose that we may moderate your transports and guide you by means of our experience, while you young people should obey us, in order that you may be able to make use of our experience. Your active life is still ahead, — now you are growing and developing. Educate yourself, form yourself completely, stand on your feet, have your firm convictions, and then begin the new life, if you feel the strength for it. But now you should obey those who guide you for your good, and not open new paths of life.”

The youth grew silent, and the elder guests agreed to what the father had said.

” You are right,” a middle-aged married man turned to the father of the youth, ” you are right, when you say that a youth, who has not any experience in life, may make mistakes in looking for new paths of life, and that his decision cannot be firm; but we have all agreed to this, that our life is contrary to our conscience and does not give us the good ; therefore we cannot help but recognize that the desire to get out of it is just. A youth may take his reverie to be a deduction of reason, but I am not a young man, and I will tell you about myself that, as I listened to the conversation of this evening, the same thought came to me. The life which I lead, obviously for myself, cannot give me any peace of mind and the good; this is also shown me by reason and by experience. So what am I waiting for? We struggle from morning until evening for our family, but in reality it turns out that my family and I myself do not live in godly fashion, but sink deeper and deeper in our sins. We do everything for our families, but our families are not better off, because what we do for them is not the good. And so I have frequently thought that it would be better if I changed my whole life and stopped caring for my wife and my children, and began to think of my soul. There is good reason in what Paul says, ‘ He that is married careth how he may please his wife, and he that is unmarried careth for God.’ ”

The married man had barely finished his words, when all the women present and his wife began to attack him.

” You ought to have thought of it before,” said one of the middle-aged women. ” You have put on the collar and so pull! It is easy enough for anybody to come and say that he wants to be saved, when it appears hard for him to keep up and support a family. This is a deception and a rascality ! No, a man must be able to live in godly fashion with a family. Of course, it is so easy to be saved all by oneself. Besides, if you do so, you act contrary to Christ’s teaching. God has commanded us to love others, while the way you do, you wish for the sake of God to offend others. No one has a right to do violence to his family ! “

But the married man did not agree to this. He said :

” I do not want to abandon my family. I only say that the family and the children should not be kept in worldly fashion, so that they get used to living for their lust, as we have just said, but that we should live in such a way that the children should from the earliest time become accustomed to privation, to labour, to aiding others, and chiefly to a brotherly life in respect to all men. But, to attain this, we must renounce aristocracy and wealth.”

” There is no need of curbing others, while you do not yourself live in godly fashion!” his wife retorted to this, with irritation. ” You yourself lived for your pleasure when you were young, so why do you want to torment your children and your family ? Let them grow up quietly, and then, let them do what they please, but do not force them!”

The married man kept silence, but an old man, who was present, took his part:

” Let us admit,” he said, ” that a married man, who has accustomed his family to certain comforts, cannot suddenly deprive them of them. It is true, if the education of the children has been begun, it is better to finish it than to break up everything, the more so, since the children will themselves choose the path which they will deem best. I admit that for a married man it is hard and even impossible without sinning to change his life. But we old men have been commanded to do so by God. I will tell you about myself: I am living now without any obligations, — I must confess, I am living for my belly only, — I eat, drink, rest, — and I am ashamed and disgusted with myself. It is time for me to give up this life, to distribute my property, and at least before death to live as God has commanded a Christian to live.”

But they did not agree with the old man either. Here was his niece and godchild, all of whose children he had christened and given presents to on holidays, and here was also his son. They all retorted to him.

” No,” said his son, ” you have worked enough in your life, — it is time for you to take a rest, and not to torture yourself. You have lived for sixty years with your habits, and you cannot stop them. You will only torture yourself in vain.”

” Yes, yes,” confirmed his niece, ” you will be in want, and you will be out of sorts, and you will grumble and sin more than ever. God is merciful and pardons all the sinners, and not only you, such a dear uncle.”

” And why should we ? ” added another old man, who was of the same age as the uncle. ” You and I have, perhaps, two days left to live. Why should we begin anew ? ”

” How wonderful! ” said one of the guests, who had been silent during the conversation, ” how wonderful! All say that it is good to live in godly fashion, and that we live badly, and that we torment ourselves in body and soul; but the moment it comes to business, it turns out, that the children ought not to be broken in, but that they ought to be brought up, not in godly fashion, but as of old. The young people must not get out from under their parents’ will, and they must not live in godly fashion, but as of old; married men must not change the life of their wives and children, and must not live in godly fashion, but as of old; and there is no reason why old men should begin anew, — they are not accustomed to it, and they have but two days to live, and all such things. It turns out that nobody can live well, but that we may only talk about it.”

I.

This happened in the reign of the Roman Emperor Trajan, 100 Anno Domini. It was at a time when the disciples of Christ’s disciples were still alive, and the Christians held firmly to the law of the teachers, as it says in the Acts.

The multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: and none of them said that aught of the things which he possessed was his own ; but they had all things common. And with great power the apostles gave witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, and great grace was upon their faith. Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, and laid them down at the apostles’ feet, and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need. (Acts, Chap. IV., 32-35.)

In these first times there lived in the country of Cilicia, in the city of Tarsus, a rich merchant, a Syrian, a dealer in precious stones, Juvenalis by name. He came from simple and poor people, but through labour and skill in his business he gained wealth and the respect of his

fellow citizens. He had travelled much in foreign countries and, though he was not learned, had come to know and understand many things, and the inhabitants of the city respected him for his intellect and justice. He professed the same Roman, pagan faith which was professed by all the respected men of the Roman empire; that faith, the fulfilment of whose ceremonies they had begun strictly to demand from the time of Emperor Augustus and which the present Emperor Trajan himself strictly observed. The country of Cilicia is far from Rome, but it was governed by a Roman supreme officer, and what was done in Rome found its echo in Cilicia, and the governors imitated their emperors.

Juvenalis remembered from his childhood the stories of what Nero had done in Rome, had later seen how the emperors had perished one after another, and, being a clever man, understood that there was nothing sacred in the Roman religion, but that it all was the work of human hands. The senselessness of all the life surrounding him, especially of what was taking place in Rome, where he often went on business, had frequently disturbed him. He had doubts; he could not grasp it all, and he referred it all to his lack of education.

He was married, and he had had four children, but three of them had died in their youth, and there was only one son left, and his name was Julius.

In this Julius Juvenalis centred all his love and all his cares. Juvenalis was particularly anxious to have his son educated in such a way that his son should not be tormented by those doubts concerning life, by which he himself had been troubled. When Julius passed his fifteenth year, his father gave him to be instructed by a philosopher who had settled in their city, and who took youths to instruct them. The father gave him to the philosopher together with his comrade Pamphylius, the son of one of Juvenalis’s deceased manumitted slaves.

The youths were of the same age, both handsome, and they were friends.

Both youths studied diligently, and both were of good morals. Julius excelled more in the study of the poets and of mathematics, while Pamphylius excelled in the study of philosophy. A year previous to the end of their instruction, Pamphylius came to school and informed his teacher that his mother, a widow, was going to the city of Daphne, and that he would have to stop studying. The teacher was sorry to lose a pupil who was doing him honour; and so was Juvenalis, but most of all Julius. To all admonitions to stay and continue his instruction, Pamphylius remained imperturbable and, thanking his friends for their love and their cares of him, he parted from them.

Two years passed; Julius finished his studies, and during all that time he had not seen his friend.

Once he met him in the street; he invited him to his house and began to ask him how and where he was living. Pamphylius told him that he was living with his mother in the same place.

” We do not live alone,” he said, ” but there are many friends with us, and we have everything in common with them.”

” How in common ? ” asked Julius.

” So that none of us considers anything his own.”

” Why do you do so ?”

” We are Christians,” said Pamphylius.

” Is it possible ?” exclaimed Julius. ” But I was told that the Christians killed children and ate them. Is it possible you take part in this ? “

” Come and see,” replied Pamphylius. ” We do not do anything in particular; we live simply, trying to do nothing bad.”

” But how can one live without considering anything one’s own ?”

“We manage to live. If we give our brothers our labour, they give us theirs.”

” Well, and if your brothers take your labour, and do not give it back, what then ?”

” There are no such,” said Pamphylius. ” Such people like to live in luxury and will not come to us: our life is simple and not luxurious.”

” But are there not many lazy people who will be glad to be fed for nothing ?”

“ There are such, and we receive them cheerfully. Lately there came to us such a man, a fugitive slave; at first, it is true, he was lazy and lived badly, but he soon changed his manner of life, and is now a good brother.”

” But suppose he had not mended his ways ? ”

” There are such, too. Elder Cyril has said that such we must treat like the dearest brothers, and love even better.”

” Is it possible to love good-for-nothing people ? ”

” One cannot help but love a man ! ”

” But how can you give to all everything which they ask for? ” inquired Julius. ” If my father gave to all who ask him for something, he would soon be left without anything.”

” I do not know,” replied Pamphylius, ” but we have enough left for our needs; and if it happens that we have nothing to eat or to cover ourselves with, we ask of others and they give to us. Yes, this happens rarely. It happened but once that I had to go to bed without a supper, and that, too, was so because I was very tired and did not wish to go to a brother to ask him for it.”

” I do not know how you do it,” said Julius, ” only, as my father has told me, if you do not guard what is yours, and if, besides, you give everything to those who ask it, you will yourself starve to death.”

“We do not starve. Come and see. We live, and not only do not suffer want, but have enough to spare”

” How is this ?”

“ It is Eke this: We all confess the same law, but the force of execution varies in us: one has more, another less of it. One has already perfected himself in the good life, another is only beginning it. At the head of all of us stands Christ with his life, and we all try to emulate him, and in this alone do we see our good. Some, like Elder Cyril and his wife Pelagea, stand ahead of us; others stand behind us; others again are far behind, but all walk on the same path. The leaders are already near to Christ’s law, — the renunciation of self, — and have lost their souls, in order to find them. They need nothing; they have no thought of themselves, and the last thing they have they, according to Christ’s law, give to him who asks for it. There are others who are weaker, who cannot give up everything; they weaken and have still a thought of themselves; they weaken without the customary food and raiment, and do not give up everything. There are others, who are weaker still, — those who have but lately entered upon the path; they continue to live as of old, retain much for themselves, and give up only what is superfluous. And it is these hindmost people who come to the aid of those in front. We are, besides, all of us by relationship intermingled with the pagans. One has a father who is a pagan and holds property and gives it to his son. The son gives it to those who ask him for it, but the father gives him some again. Another has a pagan mother who pities her son and helps him. A third has pagan children, and their mother is a Christian, and the children solace their mother and give her tilings, asking her not to distribute them; and she takes them out of love for them, and none the less gives them to others. A fourth has a pagan wife. A fifth has a pagan husband. Thus are all intermingled, and the foremost would be glad to give their last, but are not able to do so. It is this which supports the weak in their faith, and from this a great superfluity is collected.”

To this Julius said :

” But if it is so, you evidently depart from Christ’s teaching and only make believe. If you do not give up everything, there is no difference between you and us. As I take it, if one is a Christian, he ought to fulfil everything, — give up everything and become a beggar.”

” That is best of all,” said Pamphylius. “ Do so.”

” Yes, I will, when I see that you do so.”

“We do not wish to show anything, and I advise you not to come to us and not to abandon your life for the sake of appearances; what we do, we do, not for appearances, but according to faith.”

” What is meant by according to faith ? ”

” By according to faith is meant that salvation from the evils of the world, from death, is only in a life according to Christ’s teaching. It is all the same to us what people will say of us. We do not do anything for the sake of people, but because in this alone do we see life and the good.”

” It is impossible not to live for oneself,” said Julius. “ The gods themselves have implanted this in us, that we love ourselves more than others and seek pleasures for ourselves. And you do the same. You say yourself that there are some among you who have a thought for themselves. They will be preparing more and more pleasures for themselves and will more and more abandon your faith and will do precisely as we do.”

«No,” replied Pamphylius, ” our people walk along another path and never weaken, but keep growing stronger, just as the fire will never go out so long as wood is put on it. In this does our faith consist.”

” I cannot make out in what this faith does consist.”

“ Our faith consists in this, that we understand life as Christ has explained it to us.”

” How has he ?”

” Christ told the following parable: Husbandmen were living in another man’s garden and had to pay tribute to their master. It is we, the people, who are living in the world and must pay tribute to God, — to do His will. But those men with their worldly faith thought that the garden was theirs, that they did not need to pay for it, and that all they had to do was to enjoy its fruits. The master sent a messenger to the husbandmen to receive the tribute, but they drove him away. The master sent his son for the tribute, and they killed him, thinking that after that no one would disturb them. This is the worldly faith by which all the men of the world live, when they do not recognize the fact that life is given for the purpose of serving God. But Christ has taught us that the worldly faith, that it is better for a man if he drives the master’s messenger and the son out of the garden and does not pay tribute, is a false faith, because one result or the other cannot be avoided, either you pay tribute, or you are driven out of the garden. He has taught us that all the joys, those which we call joys, — eating, drinking, merriment, — can be no joys if life is placed in them ; that they are joys only when we seek something else, — the fulfilment of God’s will; that only then these joys follow the fulfilment as a true reward. To wish to take the joys without the labour of fulfilling God’s will, to tear the joys away from labour, is the same as to tear the stalks of flowers and plant them without roots. We believe in tins, and so cannot seek the deception instead of the truth. Our faith consists in this, that the good of life is not in joys, but in the fulfilment of God’s will without any thought as to joys or any hope respecting them. And thus we live, and the longer we live, the more we see that the joys and the good, like a wheel following the shaft, come in the wake of the fulfilment of God’s will. Our teacher has said, ‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and

lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’”

Thus spoke Pamphylius. Julius listened and his heart was touched, but what Pamphylius had said was not clear to him; it seemed to him that Pamphylius was deceiving him; and he looked again into Pamphylius’s good eyes, and it seemed to him that Pamphylius was deceiving himself. Pamphylius invited Julius to come to see him, to inspect their life, and, if he was pleased with it, to remain to live with them.

Julius promised he would come, but he did not go to see Pamphylius; he was carried away by his own manner of life, and forgot Pamphylius.

II.

Julius’s father was rich, loved his only son, was proud of him, and spared no money on him. Julius’s life passed like that of rich young men: in idleness, luxury, and the amusements of dissipation, which have always been the same, — wine, gaming, and fast women.

But the enjoyments to which Julius abandoned himself demanded more and more money, and Julius began to feel a lack of it. Once he asked his father for more than his father was in the habit of giving to him. The father gave it to him, but also reprimanded him. Feeling himself guilty and not wishing to confess his guilt, his son grew angry and insulted his father, as those always grow angry who know their guilt and do not wish to confess it. The money taken from his father was very soon spent, and, besides, Julius happened at that time to get into a brawl with a companion of his and to kill a man. The chief of the city learned of this and wanted to take Julius under guard, but his father obtained his pardon. Just then Julius needed more money for his dissipations. He borrowed money from a friend, promising to return it to him. Besides, his mistress demanded a present from him: she took a liking for a pearl necklace, and he knew that if he did not fulfil her prayer, she would abandon him and go to live with a rich man who had long been trying to get her away from Julius. Julius went to his mother, and told her that he was in need of money, and that he would kill himself if he did not get as much as he needed.

He did not blame himself, but his father, for the condition he was in. He said: ” My father accustomed me to a life of luxury, and then began to begrudge me the money. If he had given me in the beginning without rebukes what he later gave me, I should have arranged my life and should have had no need; but as he never gave me any sufficiency, I was compelled to turn to usurers, and they squeezed everything out of me; and there was nothing left for me to live on, as is proper for a rich young man, and I am ashamed in the presence of my companions, while my father does not wish to understand anything. He has forgotten that he himself was once a young man. It is he who brought me to this state, and if he does not give me now what I am asking for, I shall kill myself.”

The mother, who spoiled her son, went to his father. The father sent for his son, and began to scold him and his mother. The son answered insultingly to his father. The father struck him. The son grasped his father’s hands. The father called the slaves and commanded them to bind his son and lock him up.

When Julius was left alone, he began to curse his father and his own life.

His death or the death of his father presented itself to him as the only way out from the condition in which he was.

Julius’s mother suffered more than he. She did not try to make out who was to blame for all this. She only was sorry for her beloved child. She went to her husband to implore his pardon. Her husband would not listen to her, rebuked her for having spoiled her son; she rebuked him, and it all ended in the husband beating his wife. But the mother paid no attention to the blows, and went to her son to admonish him to beg his father’s pardon and submit to him. For this she promised her son secretly that she would give him the money which he was in need of. Her son agreed, and then the mother went to her husband and begged him to forgive his son. The father for a long time scolded his wife and his son, but finally decided that he would forgive his son, but only on condition that he would abandon Iris life of dissipation and would marry a rich merchant’s daughter, whom his father wanted to get as a wife for his son.

” He will get money from me and the wife’s dowry,” said the father, ” and then let him begin a regular life. If he promises to do my will, I shall forgive him. But now I will not give him anything, and the first time he transgresses, I will turn him over to the chief.”

Julius agreed to everything, and was released. He promised to get married and to abandon his bad life, but he did not have the intention of doing so.

His life at home became a hell for him: his father did not speak to him and quarrelled with his mother on account of him, rmd his mother cried.

On the following day his mother called him to her apartments and secretly handed him a precious stone which she had carried off from her husband.

” Go and sell it, not here, but in another city, and do what you have to do. I shall know how for a time to conceal this loss, and if it is discovered, I will put the blame on one of the slaves.”

The mother’s words touched Julius’s heart. He was terrified at what she had done and, without taking the precious stone, left the house.

He did not know himself whither he was going, and for what purpose. He walked on and on, away from the city, feeling the necessity of being left alone and reflecting on what had happened to him and on what was awaiting him. As he kept marching on and on, he left the city behind and entered a holy grove of the Goddess Diana. Upon reaching a solitary spot, he began to think. The first thought that came to him was to ask the goddess’s aid, but he no longer believed in his gods and so knew that no aid was to be expected from them. And if not from them, from whom ? It seemed too strange to him to reflect on his own situation. In his soul there was chaos and darkness. But there was nothing to be done: it was necessary for him to turn to his conscience, and he began before it to consider his life and his acts; and both seemed bad to him and, above all, foolish. Why had he been tormenting himself so much ? Why had he been ruining his youthful years ? There were few joys, and much sorrow and unhappiness! But the main thing was, he felt himself alone. Before this he had had a loving mother, a father, and even friends, — now there was nothing. No one loved him! lie was a burden to all. He had managed to cross everybody’s life: for his mother he was the cause of her discord with his father; for his father he was a spendthrift of his money, which had been collected by the labour of a whole life; for his friends he was a dangerous, disagreeable rival. For all of them it was desirable that he*should die.

Passing his life in review, he recalled Pamphylius, and his last meeting with him, and how Pamphylius had invited him to come to them, the Christians. And it passed through his head that he would not return home, but would go to the Christians and would remain with them.

” But is my situation so desperate ?” he thought, and he again recalled everything which had happened to him, and again he was frightened at this, that, as he thought, no one loved him and he loved no one. His mother, father, friends did not love him, could not help but desire his death; but did he himself love any one ? His friends ? He felt that he did not love any one. They were all his antagonists; all were pitiless to him now that he was in misfortune.

” My father ?” he asked himself, and he was seized by terror, when, at this question, he looked into his own heart. He not only did not love him, but even hated him for the oppressions, for the insults. He hated him and, besides, he saw clearly that for his, Julius’s happiness, he needed his father’s death.

” Yes,” he said to himself, ” if I knew that no one would ever see or find out, — what would I do, if I could-with one stroke, at once, deprive him of life and free myself ? ”

And Julius answered himself:

” Yes, I should kill him !”

He gave this answer to himself, and he was frightened at himself.

” My mother ? Yes, I pity her, but I do not love her; it is all the same to me what will become of her, — all I need is her aid. Yes, I am a beast! and a hunted-down, a baited beast, and I differ from a beast only in this, that I can, by my will, go away from the deceptive, evil life; I can do what a beast cannot, — I can kill myself. I hate my father, I love no one — neither my mother, nor my friends — unless, perhaps, Pamphylius alone.”

And he again thought of him. He began to recall the last meeting, and their conversation, and PamphyBus’s words as to what Christ said, according to their teaching: ” Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Is it true ?

He began to think, to recall the meek, fearless, and joyful face of Pamphylius, and he wanted to believe what Pamphylius had said.

” What am I indeed ? ” he said to himself. ” Who am I ? A man searching after the good. I have searched after it in lustful desires and have not found it. And all those who live like me find it as little. All are evil and suffer. But there is a man who is always full of joy, because he is not searching after anything. He says that there are many such, and that all will be such, if they shall follow what their Teacher says. What if this is the

truth ? Truth or untruth, — I am drawn toward it, and 1 shall go.”

Thus Julius said to himself, and he left the grove, having decided not to return home, and went toward the village in winch the Christians lived.

III.

Julius walked cheerfully and joyously, and the farther he walked and the more vividly he presented to himself the life of the Christians, recalling everything which Pamphylius had said, the more happy he felt. The sun was declining toward evening, and he wanted to rest, when he met a man on the road, who was resting and eating his supper. The man was of middle age, with a bright face. He was sitting, and eating olives and a flat cake. When he saw Julius, he smiled, and said :

” Good evening, young man ! The road is still far. Sit down and rest thyself.”

Julius thanked him, and sat down.

” Whither dost thou go ? ” asked the stranger.

” To the Christians,” said Julius, and, by degrees, he told the stranger his whole life and his determination.

The stranger listened attentively, asked him about the details, and himself did not express his opinion ; but when Julius had ended, the stranger put the remaining food into his wallet, adjusted his clothes, and said:

” Young man, do not carry out thy intention ! Thou art in error. I know life, but thou dost not know it. I know the Christians, but thou dost not know them. Listen : I will analyze all thy life and thy thoughts, and after thou hast heard them from me, thou wilt make that decision which will appear to thee most correct. Thou art young, rich, handsome, strong, and the passions are boiling in thee. Thou desirest to find a quiet harbour, where the passions shall not agitate thee and thou wilt not suffer from their consequences, and it seems to thee that thou wilt find such a harbour among the Christians. There is no such place, dear youth, because what is troubling thee is not to be found in Cilicia, nor in Rome, but in thyself. In the quiet of the country solitude the same passions will torment thee, only a hundred times more powerfully. The deception of the Christians, or their error (I do not want to condemn them), consists in this, that they do not wish to recognize human nature. Only an old man, who has outlived all his passions, may be a complete executor of their teaching. But a man in possession of his strength, or a youth like thee, who has not experienced life and tried himself, cannot submit to their law, because this law has for its basis, not human nature, but the idle speculation of their founder, Christ. If thou shalt go to them, thou wilt suffer what thou sufferest now, only to a far greater extent. Now thy passions lead thee on false paths, but, having once made a mistake in the direction, thou art able to correct thyself; now thou hast at least the satisfaction of liberated passion, that is, life. But among them, thou, violently repressing thy passions, wilt err just as much, even worse, and besides this suffering wilt have the unceasing suffering of man’s unsatisfied needs. Let the water out over a dam, and it will water the earth and the meadows, and animals ; but hold it back, and it will tear up the earth and run out with dirt. The same is true of the passions. The teaching of the Christians, their teaching in regard to life, consists, besides the beliefs with which they console themselves, and of which I shall not speak, also in the following : they do not recognize violence, wars, courts, or property, or the sciences, arts, — all that which makes life easy and joyous. All this would be well, if all men were such as they describe their teacher to have been. But this is not the case, and this cannot be. Men are evil and are subject to their passions. This play of the passions and the conflicts which result from them hold men back in those conditions of life in which they live. Barbarians (savages) know no repression, and one savage would, for the gratification of his desires, destroy the whole world, if all men should submit as easily as the Christians do. If the gods have implanted the sentiment of anger in men, they have done so because these sentiments are necessary for the life of men. The Christians teach that these sentiments are evil, and that without them men would be happy; there would be no murders, capital punishments, wars. This is true, but it resembles the proposition that for their welfare they must not receive nourishment. Indeed, there would be no greed and hunger and all the calamities which result from them. But still this proposition would not change human nature. And if two or three dozens of men, believing this and actually not taking any food, should starve to death, this would not change human nature. The same is true of the other passions, — indignation, anger, revenge, even love of women, of luxury, of splendour, and of grandeur, are characteristic of the gods also, and so are man’s unchangeable properties. Destroy man’s nutrition, and man will be destroyed; similarly destroy man’s characteristic passions, and humanity will be destroyed. The same is true of ownership, which the Christians are supposed to deny. Look about thee: every vineyard, every enclosure, every house, every she-ass,— all this has been produced by men only under the condition of ownership. Reject the right of ownership, and not one vineyard will be dug up, not one animal will be raised and trained. The Christians assert that they have no property, but they enjoy its fruits. They say that they have everything in common, and that everything is brought together. But what they bring together, they have received from people who own property. They only deceive men and, at best, deceive themselves. Thou sayest that they work themselves, in order to support themselves; but what they get by work would not support them, if they did not make use of what men who recognize ownership have produced. Even if they could support themselves, they only could sustain their lives, and there would be no place among them for the sciences, nor for the arts. They do not recognize the use of our sciences and arts. Nor can they act differently. All their teaching tends only to bring them back to the primitive state, to savagery, to the animal. They cannot serve humanity by means of the sciences and arts, and, since they do not know them, they deny them. They cannot serve by those means which form man’s exclusive property and bring him near to the gods. They will have no temples, no statues, no theatres, no museums. They say that they do not need them. The easiest way not to be ashamed of their baseness is to despise altitude, and this they are doing. Their teacher is an ignoramus and cheat. And they emulate him. Besides, they are godless. They do not recognize the gods and their intervention in human affairs. For them exists only the father of their teacher, whom they also call their own father, and the teacher himself, who, according to their conception, has revealed all the mysteries of life to them. Their teaching is a miserable deception. Consider this: our teaching says that the world exists through the gods and that the gods protect men. But men, to live well, must worship the gods and themselves seek and think, — and so we are guided in our life, on the one hand, by the will of the gods, on the other, by the combined wisdom of all humanity. We live, think, and seek, and so move toward truth. But they have no gods, nor their will, nor human wisdom, but only one thing, the blind belief in their crucified teacher, and in everything which he has said to them. Weigh which guide is more reliable, the will of the gods and the combined, free activity of human wisdom, or the compulsory, blind belief in the words of one man.”

Julius was struck by what the stranger had told him, especially by his last words.

His intention of going among the Christians was not only shaken, but it now even seemed strange to him how, under the influence of his troubles, he could have decided upon such madness. But there was still the question open for him what he was to do now and how to get out of those difficult conditions in which he now was, and he told the stranger about his situation and asked his advice.

” I wanted to speak of this very thing,” continued the stranger. ” What art thou to do ? Thy path, in so far as human wisdom is accessible to me, is clear to me. All thy troubles arise from the passions which are characteristic of man. Thou hast been carried away by passion, which took thee so far that thou didst suffer. Such are the usual lessons of life. These lessons must be used to advantage. Thou hast experienced much, and thou know-est where it is bitter and where sweet: thou canst no longer repeat those blunders. Take advantage of thy experience. What grieves thee more than anything else is thy enmity toward thy father. This enmity is due to thy situation; choose another, and it will be destroyed, or, at least, it will no longer manifest itself so painfully. All thy troubles are due to the irregularity of thy situation. Thou hast abandoned thyself to the amusements of youth ; this is natural and good. But it was good only so long as it corresponded to thy age. But the time passed and thou didst abandon thyself with the powers of a man to the wantonness of youth, and that was bad. Thou hast reached a time when thou oughtest to become a man, a citizen, and serve thy country, work in its behalf. Thy father proposes to thee that thou shouldst get married. His advice is wise. Thou hast outlived one period of life, youth, and hast entered upon another. All thy tribulations are symptoms of a transitional condition. Recognize that the time of youth has passed and, boldly rejecting what was proper for it, but not proper for a man. enter upon the new path. Get married, give up the enjoyments of youth, busy thyself with commerce, public affairs, the sciences, and the arts, and thou wilt not only make thy peace with thy father and thy friends, but thou wilt also find peace and joy. The main thing that agitated thee is the unnaturalness of thy situation. Thou hast become a man, and thou should st enter into matrimony and be a man. And so my chief counsel is: Do thy father’s bidding, get married. If thou art attracted to solitude, which thou hadst intended to find among the Christians, if thou art inclined toward philosophy, and not toward the activity of life, thou cans! usefully abandon thyself to this activity only after thou hast learned life in its true significance. This thou wilt know only as an independent citizen and head of a family. If after that thou shalt be attracted to solitude, abandon thyself to it, and then it will be a true attraction, and not an outburst of dissatisfaction, such as it is at present. Then go I “

The last words more than any others convinced Julius. He thanked the stranger and returned home.

His mother received him with joy. His father, too, when he learned of his readiness to submit to his will and to marry the maiden which had been proposed to him, was reconciled with his son.

IV.

Three months later they celebrated the wedding with beautiful Eulampia, and Julius, having changed his manner of life, began to manage a separate house with his wife, and himself attended to part of the business which his father had turned over to him.

Once he went for his business house to a near-by town, and while he was sitting there in a merchant’s shop, saw Pamphylius pass by with a maiden, who was a stranger to him. Both were walking with heavy burdens of grapes, which they were selling. When Julius recognized his friend, he went up to him and asked him to step into the . shop, in order to have a chat with him. When the maiden saw Pamphylius’s desire to go with his friend and his misgiving about leaving her alone, she hastened to say that she did not need him and would sit alone with the grapes, waiting for purchasers. Pamphylius thanked her and went with Julius into the shop. Julius asked permission of the merchant, his friend, to go into his living-room, and when he had received the permission, retired with Pamphylius to the rooms in the back.

The friends asked one another for the details of their lives. Pamphylius’s life had not changed since they had met the last time: he continued, to live in the Christian commune, was not married, and assured his friend that his life was getting more and more joyous with every year, day, and hour. Julius told his friend what had happened with him, and how he had been on his way to the Christians, when his meeting with the stranger elucidated to him the errors of the Christians, and his own duty to get married, and how he had followed the advice and had married.

“Well, art thou happy now?” Pamphylius asked. “ Hast thou found in marriage what the stranger promised thee ?”

” Happy ?” said Julius. ” What do you mean by happy ? If we are to understand by it a full gratification of my desires, I am naturally unhappy. So far I have been carrying on my business with success, and people begin to respect me; and in either of these things I find a certain satisfaction. Though I see many men who are richer and more honoured than I, I foresee the possibility of coming up to them and even surpassing them. This side of my life is full, but my wedded state, I will say outright, does not satisfy me. I will say more: I feel that this very matrimony, which ought to give me joy, has not given it to me, and that the joy, which I experienced at first, kept diminishing and finally was destroyed; and in the place where there was joy there has grown up sorrow. My wife is beautiful, clever, learned, and good. At first I was entirely happy. But now, — you do not know this, because you have no wife, — there occur causes for discord, because she seeks my love, when I am indifferent to her, and vice versa. Besides, for love we need novelty. A less attractive woman than my wife attracts me more at first, but later becomes less attractive to me than my wife; I have already experienced this. No, I have not found any satisfaction in my married state. Yes, my friend,” concluded Julius, “the philosophers are right: life does not give what the soul wishes for. I have experienced this now in matrimony. But the fact that life does not give the good which the soul wishes for does not prove that your deception may give it,” he added, smiling.

” In what dost thou see our deception ? ” asked Pamphylius.

“ Your deception consists in this, that you, to liberate a man from the calamities winch are connected with the affairs of life, deny all affairs of life, — life itself. To free yourselves from disenchantments you deny the enchantment, marriage itself.”

” We do not deny marriage,” said Pamphylius.

” If not marriage, you deny love.”

” On the contrary, we deny everything but love. It serves us as the first foundation of everything.”

” I do not understand thee,” said Julius. ” From what I have heard from others and from thee, and from the fact that thou art not yet married, though we are of the same age, I conclude that you do not have marriage. Your people continue in the married state, if they entered into it before, but they do not enter anew into wedlock. You do not trouble yourselves about the continuation of the human race. If you were alone, the human race would have long ago come to an end,” said Julius, repeating what he had heard many times.

” That is not true,” said Pamphylius. ” It is true that we do not make it our aim to continue the human race and do not trouble ourselves about it as much as I have many a time heard your sages trouble themselves. We assume that our Father has already taken care of this: our aim consists only in living according to His will. If in His will is the continuation of the human race, it will be continued; if not, it will come to an end; this is not our affair, not our care; our care is to live according to His will. But His will is expressed both in our sermon and in our revelation, where it says that a man should unite with his wife, and there should not be two bodies, but one. Marriage is not only not prohibited among us, but is even encouraged by our old teachers. The difference between our marriage and yours consists in this, that our law has revealed to us that every lustful looking at a woman is a sin, and so we and our women, instead of adorning ourselves and provoking lust, try to remove ourselves from it so far that the sentiment of love between us, as between brothers and sisters, should be stronger than the sensation of lust for one woman, which you call love.”

” But you can still not suppress the love of the beautiful,” said Julius. ” I am convinced, for example, that that beauty, the maiden with whom thou didst carry the grapes, in spite of her attire, which conceals her charms, evokes in thee the feeling of love for a woman.”

” I do not yet know,” Pamphylius said, blushing. ” I have not thought of her beauty. Thou art the first who has told me of it. She is for me only a sister. But I shall go on with what I wanted to tell thee about the difference between our marriage and yours. The difference originates even from this, that with you lust, under the name of beauty and love and serving Goddess Venus, is sustained, provoked in men. But with us it is the very opposite: lust is not considered an evil (God has not created any evil), but a good, which becomes an evil when it is not in its place, — an offence, as we call it. And this is the reason why I am not yet married, though I may possibly be to-morrow.”

” But what will decide it ?”

« God’s will.”

” How dost thou recognize it ? ”

” If we never look for indications of it, we never find it; but if we look for them constantly, they become clear, as clear as are for you your divinations from sacrifices and birds. And as you have your own sages, who according to their wisdom, and according to the entrails of sacrificial animals, and according to the flight of the birds expound to you the will of the gods, so we have sages who explain to us the will of the Father, according to Christ’s revelation, according to the feeling of their hearts and the thoughts of other men, and, chiefly, according to their love of them.”

” But all this is very indefinite,” retorted Julius. “What, for example, will show thee when to marry, and whom ? When I was about to marry, I had the choice among three maidens: these three were chosen from among others, because they were beautiful and rich, and my father was satisfied if I married any one of them. Of these three I chose Eulampia, because she was to me more beautiful and attractive than the rest; this is natural. But what will guide thee in thy choice ? ”

” To answer thee,” said Pamphylius, ” I must tell thee first of all that, since by our teaching all men are equal before their Father, they are just as equal before us, according to their position and to their spiritual and bodily qualities ; and so our choice (if this word, which is incomprehensible to us, be used) cannot be limited to anything. A Christian’s wife or husband may be chosen among any men or women of the world.”

” This makes it even less possible to make up one’s mind,” said Julius.

” I will tell thee what our elder has said about the difference that exists between the marriage of a Christian and that of a pagan. A pagan, like thee, chooses a wife, who, in his opinion, will afford him, him personally, the greatest amount of enjoyment. But the eyes stray with this, and it is hard to decide, the more so since the enjoyment is ahead. But for a Christian there is no choice for himself, or rather, the choice for his personal enjoyment occupies a secondary, and not the first, place. For a Christian the question is, not to violate God’s will by his marriage.”

” But where can there be a violation of God’s will in the marriage ? ”

” I might have forgotten the Iliad, which we studied and read together, but thou, who art living among sages and poets, canst not forget it. What is the whole Iliad ? It is a story of the violation of God’s will in relation to marriage. And Menelaus, and Paris, and Helen, and Achilles, and Agamemnon, and Ohryseis, — all that is a description of all the strange calamities which arise for men and even now take place from this violation.”

” But wherein does the violation consist ?”

” The violation consists in this, that a man loves in woman his enjoyment from being near her, and not the human being like himself, and so enters into matrimony for the sake of his enjoyment. Christian marriage is possible only when a man has love for men and when the object of his carnal love is first of all an object of this’ brotherly love of man for man. Just as it is rational and safe to build a house only when there is a foundation, to paint a picture when everything on which it is to be painted is prepared, — so carnal love is legitimate only when it has respect and love of one man for another at its base. On this foundation alone can a rational Christian family life be reared.”

” But I still fail to see why such a Christian marriage, as thou callest it,” said Julius, “excludes the love for a woman, which Paris experienced.”

” I do not say that the Christian marriage does not admit the exclusive love of woman; on the contrary, only then is it rational and sacred; but the exclusive love of woman can arise only when the formerly existing love toward all men has not been violated. But the exclusive love for one woman, which the poets extol, recognized as good in itself, without being based on the love of men, has no right to be called love. It is an animal lust and frequently passes over into hatred. The best examples of this, that the so-called love (eros), if it is not based on brotherly love for all men, becomes bestiality, are the cases of violence committed against the very woman, whom he who violates her makes suffer and whose ruin he causes. In violence there is evidently no love for a man, if he tortures him whom he loves. But with the non-Christian marriage there is frequently concealed violence, when he who marries a maiden, who does not love him, or who loves another, makes her suffer and has no compassion on her, only that he may be able to satisfy his love.”

« Let us say that this is so,” said Julius, ” but if the maiden loves him, there is no injustice, and I do not see any difference between a Christian and a pagan marriage.”

” I do not know the details of thy marriage,” answered Pamphylius, ” but I know that every marriage, which has for its basis nothing but the personal good, cannot help but be the cause of discord; even as the simple taking of food, among animals and among men who differ little from animals, cannot take place without quarrelling and fighting. Everybody wants a dainty morsel, but as there are not enough dainty morsels to go around, discord results from this. If there is no open discord, there is one which is concealed. The weak individual wants a dainty morsel, but he knows that the strong one will not give it to him, and, although he knows the impossibility of taking it away directly from the strong individual, he looks with concealed, envious malice upon the strong man and uses the first opportunity to take it away from him. The same is true of pagan marriage, only it is twice as bad, because the object of hatred is man, so that there arises discord between the married pair.”

“But how can this be effected, that the married pair should love no one but one another ? There wall always be found a man or a maiden who loves some one else. And so, according to your opinion, marriage is impossible. And so I see that they say rightly of you that you do not marry at all. That is the reason why thou art not married and, probably, wilt not be. It cannot be that a man should marry a woman without having first roused the feeling of love for himself in another woman; or that a girl should live to maturity without having roused a feeling in a man. How was Helen to have acted ?”

” Elder Cyril says of this as follows: in the pagan world, men, without thinking of the love of their brothers, without cultivating tins sentiment, think only of one thing, of the provocation of a love of passion for woman, and they cultivate this passion. And so in their world every Helen, or one like her, arouses love in many. Rivals fight with one another, try to surpass one another, like animals, in order to get possession of a female. And in a greater or lesser degree, their marriage is an act of violence. In our community we not only do not think of the personal enjoyment of beauty, but we avoid all offences which lead to this, and which in the pagan world are made a merit and a subject of worship. We, on the contrary, think of those obligations of respect and love of our neighbour, which we have without distinction for all men, for the greatest beauty and for the greatest ugliness. We cultivate this feeling with all our strength, and so the feeling of love has for me the upper hand in us over the temptation of beauty and vanquishes it and destroys the discord, which results from the sexual relations. A Christian marries only when he knows that his union with the woman causes no one any harm.”

” But is this possible ?” retorted Julius. ” Can we control our infatuations ?”

“We cannot, if we give them full sway, but we can prevent their awakening and getting up. Take as an example the relation of father and daughter, mother and son, brother and sister. The mother is for her son, the daughter for her father, the sister for her brother, no matter how beautiful they may be, not an object of personal enjoyment, but of love, and no sensations are awakened. They would awaken, if the father should find out that the one he considered to be his daughter is not his daughter, and the same in the relation of mother and son, brother and sister; but even then this sensation would be very feeble and submissive, and it would be in man’s power to control it. The feeling of lust would be weak, because at the base of it is the sentiment of love for mother, daughter, sister. Why dost thou not wish to admit that the same sentiment may be educated and confirmed in man in relation to all women, just as in the case of the mothers, sisters, daughters, and that on the basis of this sentiment there may grow up the sentiment of conjugal love ? The moment a brother has discovered that the one whom he regarded as his sister is not his sister, he allows in himself the feeling of love, as for a woman; even so a Christian, feeling that his love is not offending any one, allows this sentiment to rise in his soul.”

” Well, and if two men fall in love with the same maiden ?”

” Then one sacrifices his happiness for the happiness of another.”

” But if she loves one of them ?”

” Then he whom she loves less sacrifices his sentiment, for her happiness.”

” Well, and if she loves both alike, and both sacrifice themselves, she does not marry at all ?”

“ No, then the elders will look into the matter, and counsel in such a way that there shall be the greatest good for all, with the greatest love.”

” But this is never done, and it is not done because it is contrary to human nature.”

” Contrary to human nature ? What human nature ? Man, besides being an animal, is also a man, and it is true that such a relation to woman is not in accord with man’s animal nature, but it is with his rational nature. And when he uses his reason in order to serve his animal

nature, he does worse than an animal, — he rises to violence, to incest, — which no animal would do. But when he uses his rational nature for the restraint of the animal, when his animal nature serves his reason, he attains that good which satisfies him.”

V.

“ But tell me about thyself personally,” said Julius. ” I see thee with this beauty; thou evidently livest near her and servest her; dost thou really not wish to become her husband ?”

” I have not thought of it,” said Pamphylius. ” She is the daughter of a Christian widow. I serve them just as others do. Thou didst ask me whether I love her so much as to wish to be united with her. This question is hard for me; but I shall answer it frankly. This thought has come to me, but there is a youth who loves her, and so I do not yet dare to think of it. This youth is a Christian and loves us both, and I cannot commit an act which would grieve him. I live without thinking about it. I seek but for this, to fulfil the law of love of men, — this is all that is needed. I shall marry when I see that that is necessary.”

” But the acquisition of a good, industrious son-in-law cannot be a matter of indifference to her mother. She will wish for you, and not for others.”

” No, it makes no difference to her, because she knows that, besides me, all our people are ready to serve her, as they would any one else, and I shall serve her neither more nor less, no matter whether I shall be her son-in-law or not. If from this shall result my marriage with her daughter, I shall accept it with joy, as I shall accept her marriage to some one else.”

” That cannot be !” exclaimed Julius. ” What is so terrible among you is, that you deceive yourselves. And thus you deceive others. That stranger told me correctly

about you. As I listen to thee, I involuntarily submit myself to the beauty of the life which thou describest to me; but when I reflect, I see that all this is a deception, which leads to savagery, to coarseness which approaches that of animals.”

” In what dost thou see this savagery ?”

” In this, that supporting yourselves by work, you have no leisure or chance to busy yourselves with the sciences or the arts. Here thou art in a ragged garment, with coarsened hands and feet; thy companion, who might be a goddess of beauty, resembles a slave. You have neither any songs to Apollo, nor temples, nor poetry, nor games, — nothing which the gods have given for the adornment of human life. To work, to work like slaves or like oxen, only in order to feed coarsely, is this not a voluntary and godless renunciation of will and of human nature ?”

” Again human nature !” said Pamphylius. “ But in what does this nature consist ? In torturing slaves by giving them work beyond their strength, in killing our brothers and making them slaves, in making of women a subject of amusement ? All this is needed for that beauty of life, which thou con siderest proper to human nature. Does man’s nature consist in this, or in living in love and concord with all men, feeling himself a member of one universal brotherhood ? Thou art very much mistaken, if thou thinkest that we do not recognize the sciences and art. We value highly all the abilities with which human nature is endowed ; but we look upon all of man’s inherent abilities as upon means for the attainment of one and the same end, to which we devote all our life, namely, the fulfilment of God’s will. In science and in art we do not see an amusement, of use only as a pleasure for idle people; we demand from science and art the same that we demand from all human occupations,— that in them should be realized the same activity of love of God and our neighbour, by which all the acts of a Christian are permeated. We recognize as true science only such knowledge as helps us to live better, and we respect art only when it purifies our designs, elevates our souls, strengthens our powers, which are necessary for a life of labour and of love. Such knowledge we, in proportion as we are able, do not fail to develop in ourselves and in our children, and to such art we gladly devote ourselves in our time of leisure. We read and study the writings bequeathed to us by the wisdom of men who have lived before us ; we sing psalms, paint pictures, and our poems and pictures brace our spirit and console us in moments of grief. It is for this reason that we cannot approve of those applications which you make of the sciences and arts. Your learned men use their ability of imagination to invent new means for causing evil to men ; they perfect the methods of war, that is, of murder; they invent-new methods for gain, that is, for getting rich at the expense of others. Your art serves you for the erection and adornment of temples in honour of the gods, in whom the most advanced among you have long ago ceased believing, but you encourage this faith in them in other people, assuming that with this deception you will best retain them in your power. You erect statues in honour of the most powerful and cruel of your tyrants, whom nobody respects, but all fear. In your theatres you give representations of criminal love. Your music serves for the enjoyment of your rich, who glut themselves with food and drink at their feasts. And your painting, which adorns houses of debauchery, is such that a man who is not intoxicated by animal passion cannot even look upon without blushing. No, not for this have those higher abilities, which distinguish him from the animal, been given to man. It is not right to make of them an enjoyment for our bodies. In devoting all our lives to the fulfilment of God’s will, we so much the more employ our highest abilities in the same service.”

« Yes,” said Julius, ” all that would be beautiful, if life under such conditions were possible; but it is not possible to live thus. You deceive yourselves. You do not recognize the defence we provide. But if the Roman legions did not exist, would it be possible to live calmly ? You make use of the defence, without acknowledging it. Even some of your people, so thou didst tell me thyself, have defended themselves. You do not recognize property, but you make use of it: our people have it, and give it to you. Thou wilt not thyself give thy grapes away, but sellest them and wilt buy them. All this is deception ! If you did what you say, it would be all right; but as it is, you deceive others and yourselves.”

Julius grew excited and said everything which he had on his mind. Pamphylius waited in silence. When Julius had ended, Pamphylius began to retort:

” In vain dost thou think that, though we do not recognize your defences, we make use of them. We do not need the Roman legions, because we do not ascribe any value to what demands a defence by means of violence. Our good consists in what does not demand any defence, and this no one can take from us. Though material things, which in your eyes represent property, pass through our hands, we do not regard them as our own, and give them to those who need them for their sustenance. We sell the grapes to those who will buy them, not for the sake of personal gain, but with the one purpose of acquiring what the needy want. If any one should wish to take these grapes away from us, we should give them up without resistance. For the same reason we are not afraid of the incursion of savages. If they should begin to take from us the products of our labour, we should let them have them; if they should demand that we should work for them, we should do so with pleasure, and they would not only have no cause, but would even find it unprofitable, to kill and torture us.

The savages would soon comprehend, and would love us, and we should have less to suffer from them than from those enlightened men of yours, who are about us now and who persecute us. It is said that only thanks to the right of ownership are all those products obtained, by which men subsist and live; but, reflect thyself, by whom are all the necessary articles of life produced ? Thanks to whose labour do you accumulate that wealth, on which you pride yourselves ? Is it produced by those who, folding their hands, command their slaves and hirelings, and are the only ones who enjoy the property ? or by those poor slaves who, for the sake of bread, fulfil the commands of their master and themselves enjoy no property, receiving as their share barely enough for their daily sustenance? And why do you think that these men will stop working, when they shall have the possibility of doing rational labour, useful to themselves, for themselves and for those whom they love and pity ? Thy accusations against us consist in this, that we do not fully attain what we strive after, that we do not even recognize violence and ownership, and yet make use of them. If we are cheats, there is no sense in talking with us, and we deserve neither anger nor arraignment, but only contempt, and this we gladly accept, because one of our rules is the recognition of our insignificance. But if we sincerely strive after what we profess, then thy accusations about our deception would be unjust. If we strive as do my brothers and I, in order to fulfil the law of our teacher, after living without violence and the ownership which results from it, we strive after it, not for external purposes, wealth, power, honours, — we recognize none of these things, — but for the sake of something else. We seek the good just as you do; the only difference is, that we see the good in something different. You believe that the good is in wealth and honours, but we believe differently. Our faith shows us that our good is not in violence, but in obedience; not in wealth, but in giving everything up. And, like plants striving after the light, we cannot help but strive after that where our good is. We do not fulfil everything we wish for our good, that is true. But can this be otherwise ? Thou strivest after having the most beautiful wife, after having the largest possessions, — hast thou, or has any one else, ever reached it ? If a marksman does not strike the target, does he stop aiming at it, because he has many times missed his aim ? The same is true of us. Our good, according to Christ’s teaching, is in love. We seek our good, but each one of us attains it variously and far from completely.”

” Yes, but why do you not believe all human wisdom, and why have you turned away from it and believed only your crucified teacher? Your slavery, your submission to him, it is this that repels me.”

” Again thou art mistaken, and he is mistaken who thinks that we, in professing our teaching, have our faith only because the man whom we believe has commanded us to have it. On the contrary, those who with their whole soul seek the knowledge of the truth, the communion with the Father, those who seek the good, involuntarily come to the path on which Christ walked, and so involuntarily stand behind Him, see Him in front of them. All those who love God will meet on this path, and thou, too. He is the son of God and a mediator between God and men, not because some one told us so and we believe in it blindly, but because all those who seek God find His son before them, and involuntarily, only through Him, understand, see, and know God.”

Julius made no reply, and for a long time sat in silence.

” Art thou happy ? ” he asked.

” I wish for nothing better. But, more than this: I for the most part experience a feeling of perplexity, a consciousness of some injustice, — because I am so very happy,” said Pamphylius, smiling.

” Yes,” said Julius, “ maybe I should be happier, if I had not met the stranger then, and had reached you.”

” If thou thinkest so, what keeps thee back ? ”

” And my wife ? ”

” Thou sayest that she is inclined toward Christianity, — so she will go with thee.”

” Yes, but the other life has been begun, — how is it to be broken up ? It has been begun, it has to be finished,” said Julius, presenting to himself the dissatisfaction of his father, mother, friends, but mainly those efforts which have to be made in order to make this change.

Just then the maiden, Pamphylius’s companion, walked up to the door of the shop with a young man. Pamphylius went out to them, and the young man, in Julius’s presence, told them that he had been sent by Cyril to buy hides. The grapes were all sold, and wheat was bought. Pamphylius proposed to the young man that he should go with Magdalen and take the wheat home, while he himself would buy and bring the hides.

“ It will be better for thee,” he said.

“No, Magdalen had better go with thee,” said the young man, and departed.

Julius took Pamphylius into the shop of a merchant he knew. Pamphylius filled the wheat in bags and, having given Magdalen a small part, threw his heavy burden over his shoulder, bade Julius good-bye, and left the town with the maiden. At the turn of the street Pamphylius looked around and, smiling, shook his head to Julius and, smiling in the same way, and even more joyously, at Magdalen, he said something to her and they disappeared from view.

” Yes, I should have done better, if I had reached them then,” thought Julius. And in his imagination, alternating, arose two pictures, that of powerful Pamphylius with

the tall, strong maiden, carrying baskets on their heads and their good, bright faces, and now his domestic hearth, which he had left in the morning and to which he would return, and the pampered, beautiful, but wearisome and unpleasant wife, in fine raiment and bracelets, lying on rugs and pillows.

But Julius had not time to think : merchants, his companions, came up to him, and they began their habitual occupation, which ended with a dinner with drinking, and at night with women.

VI.

Ten years passed. Julius did not meet Pamphylius again, and the meetings with him slowly passed out of his mind, and the impressions of him and of the Christian life wore off.

Julius’s life went its usual way. During this time his father died, and he had to take upon himself the whole business. The business was complicated : there were the usual purchasers; there were sellers in Africa, clerks, debts to be collected and to be paid. Julius was involuntarily drawn into his affairs, to which he devoted all his time. Besides, there appeared new cares. He was chosen to a public office, and this new occupation, which tickled his vanity, was attractive to him. Besides commercial affairs, he attended to public matters, and, as he possessed a good mind and the gift of words, he began to push to the front, so that he was able to attain a high public position. In the course of these ten years a significant and disagreeable change had taken place in his domestic affairs. Three children were born to him, and this birth of the children separated him from his wife. In the first place, his wife lost the greater part of her beauty and freshness ; in the second, she busied herself less with her husband. All her tenderness and affection were concentrated on her children. Though the children, according to the custom of the pagans, were turned over to wet-nurses and attendants, Julius frequently found them with their mother, or did not find her in her apartments, but in those of her children, and the children generally annoyed Julius, affording him more displeasure than joy.

Being busy with his mercantile and public affairs, Julius abandoned his former life of dissipation, but he still needed, as he assumed, an elegant rest after his labours, and this he did not find with his wife, the more so since during this time his wife cultivated more and more the acquaintance of her Christian slave, and more and more was carried away by the new teaching, and rejected in her life everything external, pagan, which had formed her charm for Julius. As he did not find in his wife what he wanted, he cultivated the acquaintance of a woman of easy behaviour and with her passed those hours of leisure which he had left from his occupations.

If Julius had been asked whether he was happy or not, during these years of his life, he would have been unable to answer.

He was so busy! From one affair and pleasure he passed to another affair or pleasure, but not one of them was such that he was fully satisfied with it, or that he wished to continue it. Every affair was such that the quicker he could free himself from it, the better it was for him; and not one pleasure was such that it was not poisoned by something, that the tedium of satiety was not mixed in with it.

Thus Julius lived, when an event happened to him which almost changed the whole manner of his life. He took part in the races at the Olympian games, and, in bringing his chariot successfully to the goal, suddenly drove into another chariot, which he had overtaken. A wheel broke, and he fell down and broke two ribs and an arm. His injuries were severe, but not serious. Julius was carried home, and he had to lie in bed for three months.

During these three months, amidst severe physical sufferings, his mind began to work, and he had leisure to think about his life, looking upon it as that of an outsider. And his life presented itself to him in a gloomy light, the more so since at that time there happened three unpleasant events, which pained him sorely. The first was, that his slave, his father’s trusted servant, having received some precious stones in Africa, had run away with them, thus causing a great loss and a disorganization in Julius’s affairs. The second was, that Julius’s concubine had left him and had chosen another protector. The third and the most disagreeable event for him was this, that during his illness took place the election to the governorship, a position which he had hoped to get, but to which his rival was chosen. All this, it seemed to Julius, had happened, because his chariot had gone one finger’s breadth too much to the left.

As he was lying all alone on his bed, he began involuntarily to think of how his life depended on the most insignificant accidents, and these thoughts brought him to others, and to the recollection of his former misfortunes, — of his attempt to go to the Christians and of Pamphylius, whom he had not seen for ten years. These recollections were intensified by his conversations with his wife, who now stayed with him frequently during his illness and told him everything she knew about Christianity from her slave. This slave had at one time lived in the same community with Pamphylius, whom she knew. Julius wished to see this slave, and when she came to his couch, he asked her in detail about everything and especially about Pamphylius.

” Pamphylius,” the slave told him,” was one of the best brothers, and was loved and respected by all.” He was married to that same Magdalen, whom Julius had seen ten years before. They had already several children.

“Yes, the. man who does not believe that God has created men for their good,” concluded the slave, ” needs only go and look at their life.”

Julius dismissed the slave and, when left alone, buried himself in thought concerning everything which he had

heard. He felt ashamed, when he compared his life with that of Pamphylius, and he wanted not to think of it.

To distract himself, he picked up a Greek manuscript, which his wife had laid down before him, and began to read. In the manuscript he read as follows :

« There are two ways, — one is the way of life, and the other the way of death. The way of life consists in this: In the first place, thou shalt love God, who has created thee; in the second place, thy neighbour as thyself; and what thou dost not wish to have done to thee, do not to another. The teaching which is included in these words is as follows: Bless those who curse you ; pray for your enemies, and fast for your persecutors, for what reward is there, if ye love those who love you ? Do not the pagans do likewise ? Love those who hate you, and ye will have no enemies. Remove yourselves from carnal and from worldly lusts. If a man smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also, and thou shalt be perfect. If a man compel thee to walk a mile, walk with him two; if a man take from thee what is thine, do not ask it back, for thou can st not; if a man take thy upper garment, give him also thy shirt. To all who ask, give, and demand not back, for the Bather wishes that all should receive of His gifts of grace. Blessed is he who gives according to the commandment!

” The second commandment of the teaching: Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not fornicate, nor steal, nor divine, nor poison, nor covet that which is thy neighbour’s. 8wear not, bear not false witness, speak not evil, remember not evil. Be not double in thought, nor double of tongue. Let not thy word be false, nor idle, but in conformity with the fact. Be not greedy, nor avaricious, nor hypocritical, nor evil-mannered, nor haughty. Have no evil intentions against thy neighbour. Have no hatred for any man, but arraign some, pray for others, and others again love more than thy soul.

“ My child ! Avoid every evil and everything lmw Be not angry, for anger leads to murder; nor jealous, nor quarrelsome, nor irritable, for from all this comes murder.

” My child - Be not lustful, for lust leads to fornication ; be not foul of speech, for from this comes adultery.

” My child ! Do not lie, for lying leads to stealing ; be not greedy, nor vain, for from all this comes stealing.

” My child! Be no murmurer, for this leads to blasphemy ; nor bold, nor evil-minded, for from all this comes blasphemy. But be meek, for the meek shall inherit the earth. Be long-suffering and merciful, and kindly, and humble, and good, and always tremble at the words which thou shalt hear. Exalt not thyself in spirit, and give no boldness to thy soul. Let not thy soul cleave to the proud, but converse with the righteous, and with the humble. Accept everything which may happen with thee as good, knowing that nothing can be without God.

” My child ! Cause no divisions, and reconcile those who quarrel. Extend not thy hand to receive, and close it not at giving. Waver not in giving and, giving, murmur not, for thou shalt find out who is a good giver of rewards. Turn not away from the needy, but in everything have communion with thy brother, and call nothing thine own property, for if ye are participants in the imperishable things, ye are so much the more in perishable things. From childhood teach thy children the fear of God. Command not thy slaves in anger, lest they cease to fear God, who is above both of you, for He comes not to call, judging by persons, but calls those whose spirit He has prepared.

” And the way of death is as follows: first of all it is evil and cursed, — here are murder, adultery, lust, fornication, stealing, idolatry, sorcery, poisoning, rape, false witness, hypocrisy, double-mindedness, cunning, pride, malice, haughtiness, avarice, foul speech, envy, impudence, conceit, vanity; here are the persecutors of the good, the haters of truth, the lovers of lying, who acknowledge no retribution for righteousness, nor cleave to good, nor to righteous judgment, watchful, not of the good, but of evil, from whom are removed humbleness and patience; here are also the lovers of vanity, the seekers of rewards, who have no compassion for their neighbours, who labour not for the oppressed, who know not their Creator; murderers of children, miners of God’s image, who turn away from the needy, oppressors of the oppressed, defenders of the rich, unlawful judges of the poor, sinners in all things ! Beware, children, of all such people.”

Long before Julius had read the manuscript to the end, there happened with him, what happens with people who read a book, that is, another person’s thoughts, with the sincere desire for the truth ; he entered with his soul in communion with those who had inspired these thoughts. He read, guessing in advance what would be, and not only agreed with the thoughts of the book, but seemed himself to have expressed them.

With him happened that common, most mysterious, most significant phenomenon in life, unnoticed by many, which consists in this, that the so-called live man becomes alive, when he enters into communion, unites into one, with the so-called dead, and lives one life with them.

Julius’s soul united with him who wrote and inspired these thoughts, and after this communion he examined himself, his life. And he himself and his whole life appeared to him as one terrifying mistake. He did not live, but with all his cares about his life and with the temptations only ruined in himself the possibility of the true life.

” I do not want to ruin my life, — I want to live, to walk on the path of life,” he said to himself.

He recalled everything Pamphylius had told him in their former conversations, and all that now appeared to him so clear and so indubitable that he was surprised

how he could have believed the stranger at that time and . been kept from fulfilling his intention, — of going to the Christians. He recalled also what the stranger had told him :

” Go there, when thou hast experienced life.”

” Well, I have experienced life and have found nothing in it.”

He also recalled the words of Pamphylius, that, no matter when he would come to them, they would be glad to receive him.

“Yes, I have erred and suffered enough!” he said to himself. “ I shall give up everything, and I shall go and live with them, as it says here.”

He told his thought to Ins wife, and she was delighted at his intention. His wife was ready for everything. The only question was how to carry it out. What was to be done with the children ? Were they to be taken along, or to be left with their grandmother ? How were they to be taken ? How could they, after the tenderness of their bringing up, be subjected to all the difficulties of a stern life ? The slave proposed to go with them. But the mother was afraid for her children, and said that it would be better to leave them with their grandmother and go alone. And to this they agreed.

Everything was decided upon, and only Julius’s sickness retarded the execution of their plans.

VII.

In this mood Julius fell asleep. Next morning he was told that a skilful physician, who was passing through the city, wished to see him, promising to cure him soon. Julius gladly received the physician. The physician was no other than the same stranger whom Julius had met as he was on his way to the Christians. The physician examined his wounds, and prescribed to him potions of herbs to strengthen him.

“ Shall I be able to work with my hand ? ” asked Julius.

” Oh, yes I Direct the chariot, write, yes.”

“ But hard work, — digging ? ”

“ I have not thought of it,” said the physician, “ because this will not be needed in thy position.”

“ On the contrary, I shall need it very much,” said Julius ; and he told the physician that since he had seen him he had followed his advice and had experienced life; but life had not given him what it had promised, but, on the contrary, had disenchanted him, and that now he wished to carry out the intention of which he had spoken then.

“ Yes, they have evidently put their whole deception into practice, and have enchanted thee in such a way that in thy position, with those obligations which lie upon thee, especially in relation to the children, thou dost none the less not see their error.”

“ Read this,” was all Julius said, handing him the manuscript which he had read.

The physician took the manuscript and looked at it.

“ I know this,” he said, “ I know this deception, and I marvel how such a learned man as thou art can fall into such a trap.”

“ I do not understand thee. In what does the trap consist ?”

“The whole question is in the life, and they, these sophists and rioters against men and gods, offer a happy way of life, in which all men shall be happy; there will be no wars, no capital punishment, no poverty, no quarrels, no malice. And they assert that such a condition of men will exist when all men shall fulfil Christ’s commandments, — when they shall not quarrel, nor fornicate, nor swear, nor offer violence, nor wage war upon one another. But they deceive us in that they take the aim for the means. The aim is not to quarrel, not to swear, not to fornicate, and so forth, and this aim is attained only by means of the public life. But they say very nearly what a teacher of shooting might say: * Thou wilt hit the target, if thy arrow shall fly in a straight line to the target.’ But the problem is, how to do so that it may fly in a straight line. And this problem is attained in shooting by the stringing of the string, the flexibility of the bow, the straightness of the arrow. The same is true of the life of men. The best life of men, in which there is no need for quarrelling, fornicating, killing, is attained by having a string, — the rulers, — the flexibility of the bow, — the strength of power, — and a straight arrow, — the justice of the law. But they, under the pretext of a better life, destroy everything which has improved life. They recognize neither government, nor power, nor laws.”

” But they assert that without rulers, power, or laws we can live better, if men shall fulfil Christ’s law.”

“Yes; but what guarantees that men will fulfil it? Nothing. They say, < You have experienced life with power and laws, and life did not become perfect; now experience the absence of power and of laws, and life will become perfect; yon have no right to deny this, because you have not experienced it.’ But it is here that the sophistry of the godless people becomes obvious. Saying this, do they not say the same that a man would say to a farmer ? ‘ Thou sowest in the ground and coverest the seed, and yet the crop is not such as thou desirest; I advise thee, sow in the sea, and it will be better; and thou hast no right to deny my proposition, because thou hast not tried it.’ ”

” Yes, that is true,” said Julius, who was beginning to waver.

” But this is not enough,” continued the physician. ” Let us assume what is insipid and impossible: let us assume that the foundations of the Christian teaching can be communicated to all men by the taking of certain drops, and that suddenly all men will fulfil Christ’s teaching, loving God and their neighbours and fulfilling the commandments. Let us assume this, and yet the path of life according to their teaching will not stand scrutinizing. There will be no life, and life will come to an end. Their teacher was a young vagabond, and such will be his followers, and, according to our supposition, the whole world. Those who live now will continue living, but their children will not, or only one in ten will remain living. According to their teaching, all children must be equal to every mother and to every father, both one’s own children and those of strangers. How will these children be saved, when we see that the whole passion, the whole love, for these children, which is implanted in the mothers, will scarcely keep the children from destruction; what will happen when this passion passes into compassion, which is equal for all children ? Who is to be taken, and what child is to be saved ? Who will sit up nights with a sick, ill-smelling child, if not its mother ? Nature has made a protection for the child in the love of its mother; they take it away and put nothing in its place. Who will teach the son ? Who will comprehend his soul, if it is not his father ? Who will ward off danger from him ? All this is done away with ! The whole life, that is, the continuation of the human race, is done away with.”

” This too is true,” said Julius, carried away by the physician’s eloquence.

“Yes, my friend, leave thy raving and live rationally, especially now, when upon thee lie such great, important, and real obligations. It is a matter of honour that you carry them out. Thou hast lived up to the second period of thy doubts, but go on, and there will be no more doubts. Thy first and most indubitable duty is the education of thy children, whom thou hast neglected : thy duty toward them consists in making of them most worthy servants of thy country. The existing political structure has given thee everything thou hast, and thou shouldst serve it thyself and give it worthy servants in the persons of thy children. Thy second duty is to serve society. Thy failure has grieved and disenchanted thee, — this is a temporary accident. Nothing is given without struggle, and the joy of the triumph is strong only when the victory has been difficult. Leave it to thy wife to amuse herself with the prattling of Christian writers; but be thyself a man and educate thy children to be men. Begin thy life with the consciousness of duty, and all thy doubts will fall off by.themselves. They have come to thee anyway from your morbid state. Fulfil thy duty in relation to thy country by serving it and by preparing thy children for this service. Put them on their feet, that they may be able to take thy place, and then peacefully abandon thyself to the life which attracts thee, but until then thou hast no right to it; and if thou didst devote thyself to it, thou wouldst find nothing but suffering.”

VIII.

Either the medicinal herbs or the counsels of the wise physician acted upon Julius, and he soon braced up, and his thoughts about the Christian life appeared to him wild ravings.

The physician remained a few days, and then went away. Julius got up soon after, and, taking advantage of his counsels, began a new life. He engaged teachers for his children and himself watched their studies. He passed his own time in public affairs, and soon attained great importance in the city.

Thus Julius lived a year, and during this time he did not even think of the Christians. But, at the expiration of a year, a court was held in his city to judge the Christians.

A lieutenant had arrived in Cilicia from the Roman emperor for the purpose of crushing the Christian propaganda. Julius had heard of the measures taken against the Christians, and, assuming that this had no reference to the Christian community in which Pamphylius was living, did not give it any thought. But once, as he was walking over the forum to the place of his business, he was accosted by a middle-aged, poorly clad man, whom he did not recognize at first: this was Pamphylius. He walked up to Julius, leading a boy by his hand.

” Good morning, friend,” Pamphylius said to him. ” I have a great request to make of thee, but I do not know whether thou wilt, during the present persecutions of the Christians, recognize me as thy friend, and whether thou art not afraid to lose thy place by keeping company with me.”

” I am not afraid of any one,” replied Julius, ” and in proof of it, I beg thee to go with me to my house. I shall even miss my business at the forum in order to speak with thee and be useful to thee. Come with me! Whose child is this ? ”

” He is my son.”

” Really, I ought not to have asked thee. I recognize thy face in him, and I recognize these blue eyes, and I need not ask who thy wife is: it is that beauty whom I saw several years ago with thee.”

” Thou hast guessed it,” replied Pamphylius. ” Soon after thou sawest her with me, she became my wife.”

The friends entered Julius’s house. Julius called out his wife and gave her the boy, and himself led Pamphylius into his luxurious, secluded room.

” Here thou mayest say everything, — no one will hear us,” said Julius.

” I am not afraid if I am heard,” replied Pamphylius. ” My request even does not consist in this, that the Christians who have been taken should not be judged and executed, but only that they should be permitted openly to confess their faith.”

And Pamphylius told him that the Christians who had been seized by the authorities had sent word about their condition to their community. Elder Cyril, knowing of Pamphylius’s relations to Julius, had commissioned Pamphylius to go and intercede for the Christians. The Christians were not asking to be pardoned : they regarded the witnessing to the truth of Christ’s teaching as their calling. They could bear witness to this by a long life of eighty years, or prove it even by their martyrdom. Either was a matter of indifference to them, and carnal death, which was inevitable, was equally devoid of terror and full of joy for them, whether now or in fifty years; but they wished their life to be useful to men, and so sent Pamphylius to beg that the judgment and the execution should be public.”

Julius was surprised at Pamphylius’s request, but promised that he would do everything in his power.

“I have promised thee my aid,” said Julius, “but I promise it to thee in consideration of my friendship for thee and that especial, good feeling of meekness which thou hast always evoked in me; but I must confess that I consider your teaching senseless and harmful. I can judge of this, because I myself lately, in a moment of disenchantment and sickness, during my dejection of spirit, shared your views and came very near abandoning everything and joining you. I know whereon your error is based, because I have myself passed through it, — on the love of self, on the weakness of spirit, and on morbid feebleness; it is a faith for women, and not for men.”

” But why ?”

” Because, while you recognize that in human nature lies dissension and violence, which results from dissension, you do not wish to take part in them and to teach them to others, and, by not doing your share, you do not wish to make use of the structure of the world, which is based on violence. Is this just ? The world has always existed with rulers. These rulers have taken upon themselves the whole labour and the whole responsibility, and have protected us against external and internal enemies. And in return for this, we, the subjects, have submitted to these rulers, have bestowed honours upon them, or have aided them in their service. But you, instead of participating with your labours in the affairs of state, and in the measure of your deserts rising higher and higher in the estimation of men, have, in your pride, at once recognized all men to be equal, in order that you may not consider any one higher than yourselves, but may consider yourselves equal to Caesar. You think so yourselves and you teach others so. And for feeble-minded and lazy people this offence is great! Instead of labouring, every slave will at once regard himself as equal to Caesar. But more than that: you deny the tribute, and slavery, and the courts, and executions, and war, — everything which holds men together. If men obeyed you, society would fall to pieces and we should return to the time of savagery. You preach in the state the destruction of the state. But your very existence is conditioned by the state. If that did not exist, neither would you. You would all be the slaves of the Scythians or of wild men, the first that should know of your existence. You are like an ulcer which destroys the body, but which can appear and feed only on the body. And the living body struggles with it and crushes it! It is this that we are doing with you, and we cannot help but do so. And in spite of my promise to help thee in the fulfilment of your desire, I look upon your teaching as very harmful and base: base, because I consider it dishonest and unjust to gnaw the breast which feeds thee! It is base to make use of the benefits of the structure of the state and, without taking part in this structure, by which the state is supported, to destroy it!”

” In thy words,” said Pampbylius, ” there would be much that is just, if we really lived as thou thinkest. But thou dost not know our life, and hast formed a wrong impression about it. Those means for subsistence, which we employ for ourselves, are obtainable without the aid of violence. It is hard for you, with your habits of luxury, to form an idea how little a man needs in order to exist without privations. A man is so constructed that in a healthy state he can with his hands earn much more than what he needs for his own subsistence. But by living together, we are able, with the work in common, without any effort to sustain our children, and our old men, and the sick, and the feeble. Thou sayest of the rulers that they defend men against outer and inner enemies, — but we love our enemies, and so we have none. Thou affirmest that we, the Christians, provoke in the slave the desire to be a Caesar ; we, on the contrary, both in word and in deed preach one thing, — patient humility and labour, the lowest kind of labour, — the labour of the working man. We know nothing and understand nothing about affairs of state; we know this much, and this we know indubitably, that our good is only there where the good of other men is, and we seek this good; the good of all men is in union, but union is not obtained through violence, but through love. The violence of a robber against a passer-by is as provoking to us as the violence exerted by an army over captives, by judges over those who are to be punished, and we cannot consciously take part in either. We cannot without labour make use of violence. Violence is reflected in us, but our participation in violence does not consist in applying it, but in bearing it humbly, when exerted against us.”

” But tell me, Pamphylius, why are people hostile to you, and why do they persecute, drive, and kill you ? Why does your teaching of love lead to dissension ? ”

” The cause is not in us, but in you. We put above everything else the divine law, which governs our conscience and reason. We can comply only with those laws of state which are not contrary to the divine laws: ‘To Cresar the things which are Cresar’s and to God the things which are God’s.’ And it is for this that men persecute us. We are not able to stop this hostility against us, because we cannot forget the truth, which we have come to comprehend ; we cannot begin to live contrary to our conscience and to our reason. Of this hostility which our faith provokes in others against us, our teacher has said: * Think not that I am come to send peace on earth; I came not to send peace, but a sword! ’ Christ has experienced this hostility Himself, and he has warned us, His disciples, more than once of it: ‘ The world hateth me,’ He said, ‘ because the works thereof are evil. If ye were of the world, the world would love you; but because ye are not of the world, but I have freed you from the world, therefore the world hateth you. The time cometh, that whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service.’ But, like Christ, we are not afraid of those who kill the body, and so they can do nothing more with us. ‘And this is their condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.’ There is no reason for losing courage on account of this, because the truth prevails. The sheep hear the shepherd’s voice and follow him, because they know his voice. And Christ’s flock does not perish, but grows, drawing new sheep toward itself from all the countries of the earth, for, ‘ The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth.’”

“ Yes,” Julius interrupted him, “ but are there many among you who are sincere ? You are frequently accused of pretending that you are martyrs, and that you are glad to perish for the truth, but the truth is not on your side. You are proud madmen, who destroy all the foundations of social life ! ”

Pamphylius made no reply, and looked sadly at Julius.

IX.

While Julius was saying this, Pamphylius’s little son came running into the room and pressed close to his father’s side.

In spite of all the affection of Julius’s wife, he ran away from her and came to his father’s side. Pamphylius drew a sigh, patted his son, and rose up, but Julius held him back, asking him to stay for dinner and talk with him longer.

” I am surprised,” said Julius, ” at your having married and had children. I cannot understand in what way you Christians can, in the absence of property, educate your children. How can your mothers live calmly, knowing that your children are not provided for ?”

” Why are our children provided for less than yours ? ”

“Because you have no slaves and no property. My wife is very much inclined toward Christianity, and at one time she even wanted to abandon this life, — this was six years ago. I wanted to go with her: but first of all she was frightened by that uncertainty, that want, which presented itself for her children, and I could not help but agree with her. That was during my sickness. At that time all my life was loathsome to me and I wanted to give everything up. But my wife’s fears and, on the other hand, the elucidations by my physician, who cured me, persuaded me that the Christian life, as you lead it, is possible and good for those who have no families, but that there is no place in it for married people, for mothers with children, and that with life as you understand it, life, that is, the human race, must come to an end. And this is quite true. Therefore thy appearance with thy child is particularly surprising to me.”

” Not only one child; at home are left a suckling babe and a three-year-old girl.”

” Explain to me how this is done. I do not understand it. Five years ago I was ready to give everything up and to join you; but I had children, and I understood that, no matter how well it would be for me, I had no right to sacrifice my children, and so I remained living as before, in order to bring them up under the conditions in which I myself grew up and lived.”

” It is strange,” said Pamphylius, ” how differently we judge! We say, If grown persons live in a worldly fashion, this may be forgiven, because they are already spoiled, but for children, — that would be terrible! To live with them in the world and to offend them! ‘Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence co meth!’ Thus says our teacher, and I do not say this for a retort, but because it is really so. The chief need of living in such a way as we all live results for us from this, that among us there are children, those beings of whom it is said, ‘ Unless ye be as children, ye shall not enter the kingdom of God.’ ”

” But how can a Christian family be without any definite means ? ”

“According to our faith, there is but one means, the work of love for men, while yours is violence. It may be destroyed, as wealth is destroyed, and then only work and the love of men is left. We consider that what is the foundation of everything, that we must hold on to, and that we ought to increase. And when this exists, the family lives and even prospers. Yes,” continued Pamphylius, ” if I had any doubts as to the veracity of Christ’s teaching and wavered in its execution, these doubts and waverings of mine would have ended at once, if I thought of the lot of the children who are brought up by the pagans under conditions in which thou hast grown up and bringest up thy children. No matter how we may arrange life with palaces, slaves, and the imported productions of foreign countries, the life of the majority of men remains what it ought to be. The only provision for life will always be the love of men and labour-We want to free ourselves and our children from these conditions, and not by means of violence, but with love, do we make men serve us, and, strange to say, the more we think we secure ourselves in this manner, the more we deprive ourselves of the true, natural, and safe provision, of love. The greater the power of the ruler, the less love there is for him. The same is true of the other provision, of labour. The more a man frees himself from labour and becomes accustomed to luxury, the less able he becomes to labour, the more he is deprived of the true and eternal provision. And these conditions, under which men place their children, they call provisions! Take thy son and mine, and send them both to find the way, to give an order, to do what is necessary, and thou wilt see which of the two will do better; and try to have the two educated by others: whom will they take more readily ? No, do not say those terrible words, that the Christian life is possible only for the childless. On the contrary, it may be said: it is pardonable only for the childless to live a pagan life. But woe unto him that shall offend one of these little ones!”

Julius was silent.

” Yes,” he said, ” maybe thou art right, but the education of the children has been begun, and the best teachers teach them. Let them learn everything we know, — no harm can come from it. There is still time for me and for them. They can come to you, when they shall have strength and shall find it necessary. But I can do so later after I have put my children on their feet and am left free.”

” Know the truth, and ye shall be free,” said Pamphylius. ” Christ gives full liberty at once; the worldly teaching will never give it.”

And Pamphylius went away with his son.

The execution was public: Julius saw there Pamphylius, as he, with other Christians, was taking away the bodies of the martyrs.

He saw him; but, fearing the higher authorities, he did not go up to him and did not call him up.

X.

Another twenty years passed. Julius’s wife had died. His life proceeded in the cares of a public activity, in the search after power, which now was given him, and now escaped from him. His fortune was great and kept increasing.

His sons were grown up: his second son more especially began to lead life on a broad scale. He made holes in the bottom of the bucket in which the fortune accumulated and, in proportion as the fortune grew, the leaks also were increased. Here began Julius’s struggle with his sons, precisely such as had been his with his father: there were malice, hatred, jealousy.

At that time a new chief deprived Julius of favour. Julius was abandoned by his former flatterers, and exile awaited him. He went to Home, to make explanations; he was not admitted, and was ordered to return home.

Upon returning lie found his son with dissipated youths. The rumour had spread in Cilicia that Julius had died, and the son was celebrating the death of his father. Julius was beside himself, and struck his son so hard that he fell down as one dead. Then Julius went to his wife’s apartments. There he found the Gospel, in which he read : ” Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for T am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

” Yes,” thought Julius, ” He has been calling me for a lorn’ time. I did not believe Him and was insubmissive and evil, and my yoke was heavy and my burden evil.”

Julius sat for a long time with the open Gospel on his knees, reflecting on his whole past life, and recalling everything which Pamphylius had told him at different times. Then Julius arose and went to his son, whom, to his surprise, he found on his legs, and he was inexpressibly happy, because he had not injured him by his blow.

Without saying a word to his son, Julius went out into the street and walked in the direction of the Christian community. He walked the whole day and in the evening stopped for the night at the house of a peasant. In the room which he entered lay a man. At the noise of steps the man arose. It was the physician.

” No, now thou shalt no longer dissuade me,” exclaimed Julius. ” I am now going there for the third time, and I know that only there shall I find rest.”

” Where ?” asked the physician.

” With the Christians.”

” Yes, maybe thou wilt find rest, but thou hast not fulfilled thy duty. There is no manliness in thee: thy misfortunes vanquish thee. Not thus do real philosophers act. Misfortune is only a fire in which the gold is tested. Thou hast passed through the crucible. Now thou art wanting, and now thou fleest! It is now that thou oughtest to test men and thyself. Thou hast acquired true wisdom, and this thou oughtest to use for the good of thy country. What would happen to the citizens, if those who have come to know men, their passions and conditions of life, instead of sharing their knowledge, their experience, in behalf of society, should bury it in their search after peace ? Thy wisdom of life has been acquired in society, and thou oughtest to give it to the same society.”

” But I have no wisdom! I am all in error ! Though my errors are old, they have not on that account been changed to wisdom, just as water, no matter how old and foul it may be, will not be changed to wine.”

Thus spoke Julius, and, seizing his cloak, he hurriedly left the house and without rest continued his journey. At the end of the next day he arrived at the community of the Christians.

He was welcomed by them, though they did not know that he was a friend of Pamphylius, who was beloved and respected by all. At the table Pamphylius saw his friend, and he ran up to him with joy and embraced him.

” Here I have come,” said Julius. ” Tell me what to do, and I shall obey thee.”

“Have no thought of it,” said Pamphylius. “Come with me.”

And Pamphylius took Julius to the house where the newcomers stopped, and, pointing a bed out to him, he said:

” Thou wilt see thyself wherewith thou canst serve people, when thou hast had a chance to see our life; but, that thou mayest know how to dispose of thy leisure, I shall appoint thee some work for to-morrow. They are now gathering the grapes in our vineyards: go and help them. Thou wilt thyself find out where thy place is.”

On the next morning Julius went into the vineyard. The first was a young vineyard, which was laden with clusters of grapes. Young people were gathering them. All the places were occupied, and Julius could not find any place there for himself, though he walked up and down the vineyard for a long time. He went farther, where there was an older vineyard, and where there was less of the fruit; but even here Julius found nothing to do: all worked in pairs, and there was no place for him. He went farther still, and entered an overgrown vineyard. It was all empty. The vines were blasted and crooked, and, as Julius thought, barren.

” So this is my life,” he said to himself.

” If I had come the first time, it would have been as the fruit of the first vineyard. If I had come when I started for the second time, it would have been like the fruit of the second vineyard; but here is my life now: it is like these useless, overgrown vines, which are good for fuel only.”

And Julius was frightened at what he had done; he was frightened at the punishment which awaited him for having wasted his life to no purpose. And Julius was grieved, and he said aloud :

” I am not good for anything and cannot do anything now.”

And he did not rise from the spot, and wept because he had lost what could no longer be returned. And suddenly he heard an old man’s voice, which called him:

” Labour, my brother! ”

Julius looked back, and he saw an old man, bent with years, white as snow, who with difficulty moved his feet. He was standing at a vine and collecting the sweet clusters which were left here and there. Julius walked over to him.

” Labour, dear brother! Labour is joyful! ”

And he showed him how to look for the clusters which were left here and there. Julius went to look for them and he brought some and deposited them in the old man’s basket. And the old man said to him in reply:

” See whether these clusters are worse than those collected in the other vineyards! ‘ Walk in the light, while ye have light,’ our master has said. ‘ It is the will of Him that sent me that every man who seeth the son and believeth on Him should have everlasting life, and I will bring him to life at the last day. For God sent not His son into the world to condemn the world: but that the world through Him might be saved. He that believeth on Him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.’ Grieve not, my son! We are all sons of God and His servants! We are all His army ! Dost thou think he has no other servants but thee? And what if thou hadst, in thy full strength, devoted thyself to His service, — shouldst thou have done everything He wants, everything that ought to be done to men in order to establish His kingdom ? Thou sayest that thou shouldst have done twice, ten times, a hundred times as much. But if you did a million times as much as all other men, what would this be in God’s work? Nothing. There is no limit and no end to God’s work, as there is not to God. Come to Him, and be not a labourer, but a son, and thou shalt become a participator of infinite God and His work. There is no great and no small with God, but there is what is straight and what is crooked. Enter the straight path of life and thou shalt be with God, and thy work will be neither small nor great, but the work of God. Remember that in heaven there is more joy on account of one sinner than of a hundred righteous. The worldly affairs, all that which thou hast missed, have only shown thee thy sin, — and thou hast repented. And since thou hast repented, thou hast found the straight path ; walk on it with God, and think not of the past, of what is greater and what lesser. For God all the living are equal! There is one God and one life! ”

And Julius calmed down, and began to live and to work for his brothers according to his strength and the best he knew how. And thus he lived in joy for another twenty years, and did not see how he died a carnal death.

Yasnaya Polyana, October, 1890.